Tuesday, October 6, 2009
 You deleted your account? Why? What's gonna happen to the passionate diary? There are so many thoughts running in my mind.. But.. instead of cracking my head and finding answers that i will never get, i asked myself a few questions, and i begin to have some ideas on what i should do next.. hopefully.. Should I continue on writing in that diary? That diary have been with me (us) since the day we're together, but you are no longer here.. (well.. in fact you left a long time ago, but your account was still remaining at that point.. but now, not anymore.) So.. what is it.. right now? The idea of knowing you will no longer access the diary, makes me sad, extremely sad, because somehow i wished, hoped you will go through them one more time. But now.. no more imagination, no more self-deception or living in the past.. you have decided for me, decision is finalized.. Memories, secrets, words we had.. you have buried them.. or in another word, you abandoned them, nothing worth reminisce? Is that so? Seriously, I never realized your name was gone in the 'Team members', i thought of re-adding/re-inviting you.. but then again.. I hesitated.. and I concluded i shall not challenge your will power, and so let it be.. if that's our destiny, like how you used to tell me in the past, " babe, just let things be.." I will still continue writing in the passionate diary, with more feelings.. at least I can 100% confess and being truthful to myself.. not needing to fake or to worry anyone found out my dirty little secrets. It's not a bad idea after all,yea?
p.s. Now.. I'm the only one that remains.. 18 years I've known myself, but I ought to know myself more to be able to love myself more.. the passionate diary will still be the passionate diary.. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
 posted by - Mandy - at 1:22:00 AM -  
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
 Last night we had an argument, You cannot tell me why. And something that you said posthaste, Caused me to turn and cry. Immediately I felt remorse For what I'd done to you, But I did not apologize For what I'd put you through. Each time thereafter either spoke, We answered slightly terse, And soon, not wanting to provoke, We choose not to converse. Long after we had gone to bed And never speaking much, You knew that I were sorry By your tender loving touch. Your touch said you were sorry That we'd had our little fight. You did not want this barrier To last throughout the night. Well dear, I am the one so wrong To let my temper rise. I love you more than you can know And I, apologize. When I'm getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say -- and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 9:27:00 PM -
Monday, August 11, 2008
When you are sad I will dry your tears When you are scared I will comfort your fears When you need love, my heart I will share When you are sick, I will be there and care You will feel my love when ever we are apart Knowing that nothing can change my heart When you are worried, I will give you hope When you are confused or tense, I will help you cope When you are lost, and can't see the light My love will be the star, shining so bright This is for you, one that I keep till the end For you are my life and friend These words which express my feelings, speak of my love for you From my lips these words spoken, will always be true I have been blessed, with your hand in mine Both of our hearts will never unwind Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 8:34:00 PM -
Sunday, April 20, 2008
I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,
Thinking and thinking.. I'm the one who started it, and he's the one who ended it. Who shall take the blame? He said that he would tolerate me, and I said I would be understanding. He said that he wouldn't raise his voice again, and I said I wouldn't ignore him. He said that he wouldn't leave me wondering alone, and I said I wouldn't hide anything from him. He said.. and I said.. Who shall take the blame? The one who started it unreasonably? or the one who ended it rudely? I started to missing him already.. but I never want to talk to him.. But my heart deny it. Put it this way, I miss him and I've a urge to call him.. but my ego holding my heart back.. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 8:25:00 PM -
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
 We have been loving each other... We have been arguing and crying... We have been laughing together... We have been bringing breakfast for each other We have been cheering for each other... We have been this and that... It has been a routine for us... It has been 100 days we combine our soul.. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 7:43:00 PM -
Monday, March 31, 2008
 Why just turn around and disappear from my sight? Why can't you say "love you" and peck on my cheeks before you go? Why leave me behind, seeing you walk away, and let the rest question me? I don't like, when both of you disappeared together! I don't like you being so cool to me! I don't like people asking me bullshit! You promised, you'll treat me better. You promised, you'll be faithful. You promised, you'll be understanding. I hate it when you ignore me. I hate you saying sorry, when it was too late. I hate you leave me alone wondering. Be gentle: What you're holding is my heart.Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 6:10:00 PM -
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
 O god... Wei Zhen found my web... my god.... I wonder will he browse it.... If he really does, I don't know what's he gonna feel.... The main character in this blog... the persom I mentioned the most... Well... It can tell how much I love him... and also how much he meant to me...
The first thing I think of When I think of you,Is your wonderful smile. The second would be your adorable laugh. I could go on and on, But the list would never end. When I think of the short time That we've been together And of all of the happy memories we've already shared It amazes me to no end And I know that we were meant to be together. I look at you and see overflowing love, hope, and joy As well as charm, strength, happiness and dignity. With all of these wonderful qualities It's no wonder I love you so. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:27:00 PM -
Friday, March 30, 2007
I Love You I never really knew you you were just another friend, but when I got to know you, I let my heart unbend. I couldn't help past memories that would only make me cry, I had to forget my first love and give love another try. So I've fallen in love with you, and I'll never let you go, I love you more than anyone, I just had to let you know. And if you ever wonder why, I don't know what I'll say, but I'll never stop loving you each and every day. My feelings for you will never change, just know my feelings are true. Just remember one thing..........I Love You!!!!! Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:58:00 PM -
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Never Have I Fallen Your lips speak soft sweetness Your touch a cool caress I am lost in your magic My heart beats within your chest I think of you each morning And dream of you each night I think of your arms being around me And cannot express my delight Never have I fallen But I am quickly on my way You hold a heart in your hands That has never before been given away Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 6:18:00 PM -
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
 This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as i
will. I can waste it, or just use it for good, but what i do today is important,
because i am exchanging a day of my life for it! When tomorrow comes, this day
will be gone forever, living in is place something that i have traded for it. I
want it to be going, and not loss,good, and not evil; success and not failure, in
order that i shall not regret the price that i have paid for it...
Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 9:00:00 PM -
Monday, March 12, 2007
For ten months I have waited And held all my tears But last night I let them flow I never again wanted to cry for you Because of what you did You don't deserve my tears Because of what you did I Gave up I find no hope in humanity Because of what you did I see no love in a heart I look for the corruption Because of what you did I no longer care I try not to feel I try not to cry You don't deserve my tears Because of what you did I lost the only thing that made me happy You were what got me through each day But because of what you didI don't know what to do All that is left is tears Tears that have been waiting to fall Waiting for me to break Waiting for me to admit That I miss your love But you don't deserve me Because of what you did I am now lost Alone without you or anybody else You don't deserve my tears But I still cry for you Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:14:00 PM -
Thursday, March 1, 2007
I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.
I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart,
and forever it will stay.
Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 6:24:00 PM -
Thursday, February 22, 2007
 Love Is ... Love is the greatest feeling,Love is like a play,Love is what I feel for you,Each and every day,Love is like a smile,Love is like a song,Love is a great emotion,That keeps us going strong,I love you with my heart,My body and my soul,I love the way I keep loving,Like a love I can't control,So remember when your eyes meet mine,I love you with all my heart,And I have poured my entire soul into you,Right from the very start. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 6:38:00 PM -
Saturday, February 10, 2007
You take my breath away when you walk past me, I wish this breath was everlasting, You take my breath away when you look at me, Whenever you look at me I turn so weak, you take my breath away when you were so nice, you gave my life sugar and spice, you take my breath away when you speak, especially when you look at me and wink, you take my breath away when you say Hi, I wish everyday you could be mine, you take my breath away when you call, when you ask me for one question I love them all, you take my breath away constantly, I wish you could especially be with me, you take my breath away even though you don't notice, I wish that you would know this, you take my breath away,everyday Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:40:00 PM -
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I have these feelings, deep inside feelings that I have to hide I don't know if he feels that way too And I don't know what to do When we're together, I feel uptight When he's around I feel so right I dream about what we can do And all the things we can pursue I yearn just to feel his touch And when he leaves, I miss him so much I want to feel his lips against mine And feel our bodies intertwine So for now I'll love him from afar One day I'll express how special you are So until then I will retain this rush And until then I'll contain my crush. I have fallen In love with him. I have this huge crush on him and I don't know how to tell him. Maybe one day I will get enough guts to give this poem to him. Maybe one day I will find out if he feels the same way. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:19:00 PM -
Sunday, January 21, 2007
.jpg) Well another 6 hours is going to 2007..This year there's a lot of things happen to me.. and i realise many things... The one who are pleasure the most, finally he has leaved me... ya he is...
Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing... Especially i have to watch those couple holding eachother hand tight, and kissing eachother so tender...
And when the first time you says i love you... all the promises we made, all the lay fighting...
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhoodI dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
Every morning we spend together... all the kiss you use to greet me in the morning, whispering beside while i'm sleeping.. telling me how much you love me..
Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things Dreams of you and meIt seems, it seems That I can't shake those memories I wonder if you have the same dreams too The littlest things that take me there
The first time i cry infront of you, you hugging me tight with your arm, i can still remember how warm is your chest and how fast your heart beated... comforting me that i'm not alone, saying you will leave me never and saying how ugly and stupid when i cried..
Kissing infront all of my friend
1st of july, 2005
5sc2 classroom
behind the canteen
bam villa swimming pool
badminton hall
school hall, piano
Long slow kiss
Silence tears
long comfortable hug
love bites
december 17th 2005
dozen of white roses
sovenirs from genting
Spaghetti
love letter
swatch
Christmas night
Prom night
6th of february,2006Sad Valentine
Jay chou cd's
rose petal
fragrance oil
our exchange diary
yellow bikini
tickle eachother
our arguement
scar on your arms
butterfly earing
clover necklace
Claudine
May 9th 2006
Ponteng out to date
Stars in your room
20 october 2005
SHMILY
The breakfast i prepare for you every morning
those kiss and hug before you send me to school
and so much more...
I thougth the wound in my heart has fully recover, but i'm wrong.. because it's bleeding for everytime i ansewred my friend i'm ok...
Sorry for making our story tales this short... Seriously.. you are the first guy i love... the first guy who can makes me smile and cry in the same time, the first guy who taught me what is love, the first guy that hurt me so deeply... SHMILY... I really mean it..
How do you repair a heart that's broken? How do you heal the wounds? How do you ever trust another? How do you love so soon? You left me asking these questions,You left me alone to wonder. How could I know you'd leave me, And break the spell I'm under? We had a love like fairy tales-Prince Charming on one knee. I thought I was your Cinderella, But I was too blind to see. The love you had came from another, Someone I'm afraid to know. So now I hide within myself, So my pain-filled eyes won't show. You've made it hard to trust another, Making sure no paths are crossed. Since you never knew what you had, You'll never know now what you've lost! My heart was all for giving,But all you did was take. I know one day I'll love again, And learn from my mistakes.
I posted this on last year, 2006.12.31... im just reposting it...
Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:49:00 PM -
Saturday, January 13, 2007
The feelings I feel inside I can't explain It's like I still love you but it don't feel the same. The memories we had stays on my mind How can I forget I think about them all the time. I wish we could go back to how we was before But it feels like the love we had before just isn't there anymore. So many thoughts run through my head like what kind of future we have ahead I hope all our problems go away so we can live happier together forever, everyday And if by chance our love do end I hope to God that we can still be friends. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:04:00 PM -
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I sit alone in the darkness. Waiting.Waiting for him to come back to me. Can he hear my cries? Can he feel my tears? Can he sense my breaking heart? God only knows such a fact. How can this be that he can't see me? Is it because I'm sitting alone in the darkness? I just walk past everyone as if I were invisible. Can he see me now? Can he see the pain he's caused me? Or does he just look past it? I think I should move on, but something tells me to wait. It's my heart. I'll give him one last chance. He needs to prove his love to me. As I return to sit alone in the darkness. Waiting. Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y .~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:22:00 PM -
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