Friends are like roses they are beautiful and gentle, but will cause pain in the process of defending themselves

I once have this close friend, let's call her Chanel. I met her in a party,she's this charming and bright lady, outgoing and friendly. At least that's how she portrayed herself way back.We did not contact each other right after the party, not until we met up again by chance on the second time and found out that she is living near my area and we often met up for lunch or movie since I can drive her.

It started out pretty well, at one point we were very close, because one of mr17's friend had a crush on her.. and eventually mr,17, his friend, chanel and me turned out to be the closest friend. We always went on a double date and hung out really late, and at the end of the day I would have her stay over my place, because we had so much to talk about. From breakups to new romance, from love to blog, from food to fashion. And I thought, "I'm so glad that I finally found someone who shares the same interest as i do. Another sister!"

Long enough after me and her got together, I found out that I've been used. I've been a fool in front of her marvelous acting skills. Or may be she wasn't even acting.. she changed, perhaps? She loves attentions, she started to indulge herself in the lime light, losing herself over fame. She is different, not genuine anymore. No longer the girl I know.

From "staying over my house for pillow talk" to "staying over my house because of her curfews", from "You'll definitely be my made in honor" to "I don't think bff ever exist", from "Hey, let's dolled up and attend together" to "I'm sorry, I can't bring you along."Things changed, I tried to mend it.. but what I got at the end of the day is "O.. I thought you dialed wrong number"

I had a great dilemma before removing her from my friend list, before letting this new found sisterhood fades. I put in too much, and damn it for my stupidity in being so thrilled and believe what we had was genuine. Damn it! I thought what she need is someone who will remind her of what mistakes she made, someone who will be there for her when she's down. But end up, all she need is events, fame, and she enjoys better with a male companion. That's how things changed.

Anyway, it has been quiet awhile since I heard from her. It was her birthday few days ago.. and I was just thinking what we promised earlier on going to a trip together on our birthday month.

As fast as we became friends we come to notice how much faster we can lose each other...how much more friends you become friends with...even the ones you never think you will...Remember the good times we all have together because time and reality is moving fast and the reality is some of us will never see each other again and some will...but even though we'll all change we'll all remember the times we had together and all the times we said best friend still the end.

PS: Happy belated birthday..

"You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we're doing it." ~Neil Gaiman~

One thing about myself is I love to imagine things, I love the damn sentence "what if..?"

Most of my friends who know me well,will always tend to ask me "why do you have so much what if?"

Seriously, I have no idea, probably because many incidents happened on me when i was younger, hence it gives me an idea of things can change over a night, and to not failed myself is to have a plan B or even C always.

Many of you might say that I'm a person who worried too much and missed out so much fun because of having to be so careful and serious all the time. But I just can't help it, it's me.

I love inner reflections, I really do.. as much as questioning myself with the impossibles and possibles.

Day dreaming, and drowning myself in my own imagination. I wonder is that a Pisces thing, or it's just me?

Like before I sleep every night,for most of the nights i would say, I will have funny thoughts running in my head. For instance like,"What if I found Lucas lay dead beside me next morning?","What if I woke up one day and find a stranger beside me?", "What if I'm able to stop time?" more and more "what if.."

Sometimes it can go worst, day dreaming in class is a small thing, what I'm talking about here is something more serious like I can drive myself away when I'm reading a novel, yes! like when I'm reading a text, hmm.. probably something like this "Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need only of that". Short text like this is enough to keep me wonder in my own thoughts for a good 5 minutes or perhaps more.

You know, day dreaming and imaginations are what keep me from falling today, because I like to place myself in different situation and be prepared for the worst.

I will not say it's a bad thing for thinking too much.. not a good thing either. I would say it's neutral, and it depends on how people judge it. Like the "..everything has both sides, the good and bad, it just depends on how you make use of it.." theory. As for myself, I glad to be who I am, and how I see things today.

Lastly and one word to describe myself in this aspect, I love organizing things, and there is no "last minute" in my dictionary.

So, what's wrong with asking WHAT IF?

PS: Different people have different point of view, and no doubt there's many types of people on this planet. I did not understand that before.. Not until recently, the statement proven to be quite true.

Phew~ Finally! longest picture post ever.. there is part 2 >.<

And here comes the last teen in my life, I have no idea how am I feeling inside..and er not long ago I finished the twilight series for the second time, Bella is so lucky, 18 forever, how I wish.. get me a Cullen, please!

My birthday for this year is different, no more wei zhen after three years straight having him with me on my Birthday. It's not as terrible as i thought though, I had a blast, enjoyed myself, and it's all brand new to me.

Actually, I didn't have any plans, but well.. it just happened, simple and fun.. Just like what i wanted initially.

It was a long day for me, rush, rush and rush. I suppose I'm too excited on the day before, I couldn't sleep much, woke up without needing my alarm. Rare, especially during hoildays.And thank god my voice weren't too sexy after the karaoke session.

It's the first time, having three celebrations in a day, it was mini but it's the thought that counts =D.. I had three cakes, so I needed to wish for three times, but for that three times, my mind is totally blank, not knowing what to wish for, or may be if I did, it will be a wish that requires miracle to bring alive. And may be because of that I have no desires of making any wishes. However, I won't say It's a bad thing, having no wishes.. looking at the bright side, may be I already owe everything i wanted? Ok, no more emo and funny thoughts..

PS: So sad.. hard rock did not offer complimentary brownie for the birthday bunny!

Certainly, I'm so happy to cuddle in his arms again, warm as always.
But it got heaty after awhile, and with my playfulness, I told him "How I wish you're a Cullen now". He giggled.
Anis's expression was puzzled when she saw the both of us. I was waiting for his reply anxiously.
And he went,"Yea, we're back together" Then again, we embraced ourselves in each other arms.
I remember calling him. I was very careful this time, unlike the past I will keep up until I get a respond from him. However,when I ready to stop, there he goes answering my call,"Yes, babe? I was..."

For the love of Venus, cupid must be kidding with me. Each time when I ready to give up, he gives me hope; Every time when I decided to let go, he gives me reasons to stay. How ironic?

PS:梦里不断放映着我记忆中的他.. Memories, that's the only thing he left for me..