I don't know why, but I just have the urge to write this down.. and the song, it intesified my broken dreams. With a blink of an eye, high school is already so far away from me, and one more year, 4 more semester and I can head to US to archive my dream.. Some of you may know, it has been a dream, a goal for me to work for google and I thought taking ADP will bring me one step closer.. no doubt, it will.. definitely, but only if I'm as wealthy.
I'm withdrawing from ADP, and yes, I'm back to square one. My future is so shaky now. Few days back, I had a conflict with my mum, and we never talk since then. It was my mistake, I was devastated when I heard the news, when I get to know that financial has became a great problem in today's society, in my family, especially.. I was so furious, so sad.. and I'm litereally raising my voice at my mum, I didn't tell her how much I hated that, to ask me to give up for what she had given to me. I was throwing tantrums, and I believe what I said has indirectly hurt her feelings, argh.. How fucking inconsiderate!
However, I'm given another path, to graduate locally.. basically i'm going to start foundation again and continue my degree in Unisa, Taylor's. That's the max i can ask, because I can't let her to bear all this burden by herself, and my brother, he's graduating from high school very soon.A while go, I talked to my friends, my primary schoolmates actually, and I felt so embarassed, not because I can't study abroad, not because I have to do my foundation again, not because my life not as cool as them, I felt so embarassed because I do not know how to appreciate what I'm having right now. Most of them were like, "rich kid la in taylors","walao.. 100k can support my family dunno for how long ady","7A's still what? my family can't even support me in any uni here, not even the cheapest."... i got lotsa stuff like that, and I feel terrible.. "身在福中不知福" (Meaning: Growing up in happiness, one often fails to appreciate what happiness really means.; not to appreciate the happy life one enjoys)The proverb that best describe my naiveness.

P.S. Although It's too late right now, but it's better than never.. I'll not do the same mistake