So.. here it is, the photos behind the scene for the coming up issue in modelle megazine. This time round 40 girls are devided into 4 category which are fire, wind, earth and water element, and I'm selected for the water element, which I think it suits me alot because I'm pisces? heh..
As I mentioned above, the theme for this time round is inspired by Tyra banks in the ANTM cycle 13 petite, SMIZE. We're wrapped around with only scarfs, look how creative the stylist is.. each girl have different types of outfit with the same scarf. They are really really creative.
It was a long shoot compared to the last time, because we have 10 girls together this time round, everyone is so exhausted yet excited. I'm glad to meet them all, and I claim that I'm the most hyperactive among them.. I've been taking pics with their camera, because I had forgotten mine and making a lot of noises when they were resting. =x

Lastly, please excuse me to do some publicity for myself here:
Hello friends, readers, passer by, admires XD and nuffnangers.. For your information, I'm currently running a competition under modelle's model management, and i'm so glad i'm still running toward the competition. However, I still need your votes, because the competition itself is base on voting and the elimination date is near, I'm really really worry this time round, because for the past few weeks i was so busy with my exams and I don't have the time to interact with much people, hence.. I don't have a chance on acting cute and wanting them to vote for me.. =x (run away before you throw stuff at me XD) So, please.. to keep me safe from the elimination, you know what to do right? type MODV space CMY and send it to 36660.. and you will receive a reply message of me saying arigatou gozaimasu XD. What are you waiting for？ Closing date is on 3rd of DEC, be fast it you still wanna see more hot chick in my blog. *evil laugh*


P.s. Sabrina! I still remember your scream, gosh.. you really made me feel so bad.

What is that for? Are you going to hang on there forever and not respond? You read it do you? or it's just all by coincident, (which i think it's not likely).. when it comes to me and you, there's no fate or destiny.. I'd not buy that anymore.. and the "meant-to-be" thing, it's just another bullshit.
I'm not piss at you, I'm just so frustrated with myself.. wondering why do i bother so much on how you behave.

I know.. I know you still feel it, it's not whole but it's not shattered either, right? Can we preserve what is left?

P.s. Just tell me, what's up on your mind?

Should I go home or stay? *Yawn*..
I think I should just leave.
Wait! what if I screw my sociology test tomorrow?
But I'm so tired.. how am i suppose to study when i'm keep yawning..?
Go buy coffee then!
Why not I sleep and study tonight..?
I won't have enough time! Furthermore, I won't get to concerntrate, there is so many distractions around.
Sociology is all about reading, right? I think I can do it at home..
Then what's the point of me coming to college?
I thought I could concerntrate more in the library..
So be it.. !
I tried, and it's ain't working.. so off to home i go.. =p
Tsk tsk.. I doubt I made a wise decision..
Yea.. whatever.. I'm going home.. OMG it's already 4.18?!
Sigh.. guilty..

P.s. I 'm coming to you.. my darling.. sweet apple pie~

"The hottest love has the coldest end." , I came across this quote many years ago, and I used to doubt it, until it happens on me..It has been alomst half a year since I broke up with my ex, and we never contact eachother ever since that.. Why? A question I've been asking myself.. and the damn sentence always repeating in my blog, do we really have to behave like a stranger?
Me and Wei Zhen started out as a classmate, then friend and lover.. Some of you might recall we're such a lovey dovey couple way back in high school and many of you have never imagine that we'll both ended up in this way.. But, what more can I say..? It just happened.
I've been trying very hard to maintain a friend relationship with zhen after the break up, but it just won't work.. perhaps both of us know that, friendship right after a break up is almost impossible, because of the leftover feelings, it makes the whole friendship thing appears to be not genuine at all.
Is wanting to be friends now a subconscious excuse to be around him so I can find closure on unresolved things? Partly, yes, because if we're both avoiding eachother, it simply means that either one of us haven't let go and still hurting from a past relationship, thus making me not ready to move on with my life.. (No, it doesn't sounds rediculous). However, it's mostly because I still like him as a friend and what attracted me about him in the first place is still there, he is still the coolest dude i knew in class, that listens the same things I listen and enjoys talking about food. The guy that shares a lot of my interests. He is definitely still the guy that exist in the same light in which I first saw this person. There's habit and familiarity. Maybe dating was a mistake. Or maybe it was worth a shot, but sadly it didn't work. "He might not be a good lover, but he is a good friend", that's what I always tell Derek.
No doubt, my ex is someone who already knows my friends, my favourite ice cream, my habit of not eating yolks, my obssession on Daniel Henney. I don't have to explain myself; I don't have to go through that faking game and need not to be 100% perfect when I'm with him.. In short, we have reached the "comfort zone" of being with eachother. A person who know so much about me, why is he behaving like a total stranger right now? Is the break up process still going on? Do we still have an intense feelings on eachother and we're afraid of the reconcilation? or simply we still hold the grudge on what our partner did in the past? Who's right and who's wrong? Does it still matters?
After all this while, I'm sure that I'm done breaking up, and certainly I still wish to be friends with him, merely friends.. Why? He is my high school classmate, and I'm sure in future he is someone that i will bump into, someone that my friends know and will continue socialize with..So, instead of meeting him in the future and feeling devasted about the past. I rather let go, and be a grown up, have some maturity, suck it up if I have to, and really try. Of course, It is easier said than done, being friends means trusting again that someone who hurt you. But I guess it goes down to accepting the other person by simply who they are. For sure, I would see him as a totally different person and as an ex lover, I think, we can still be there as a friend, when a hand is needed or simply a good companion for a cup of coffee. Why not?

But the problem is.. How am I suppose to start this all by myself? It has to be mutual...

P.s. Would you like to be my friend? Again?

My leg is hurting.. whenever I tap, even a soft tap.. there will be a sharp pain at the side of left my thigh. I have no idea what is going wrong, it has been like this for the past few months.. and gotten worse lately..

Went for a check up the other day, and did an x-ray.. but couldn't find out what is it.. I'm advised to do a mri scan... Omg! MRI?! It sounds so serious, I thought I had accidentally torned or pulled my muscles. But the doctor says, torned or pulled muscle will recover in less than 3 months time, but my pain has last for atleast 3 months.. So what is it?

Between, watched the christmas carol just now, well.. and It gives me some idea on how to spend X'mas this year, what if I say I'm going to spend my X'mas doing some charity work?

P.S. I kept thinking about him throughout the movie..

So Mr.17 has gone for a a week, and I do think about him.. but not as strong as how i miss Zhen.. I called zhen last week, I told him about my grandma.. I was hoping he could atleast call my grandma to wish her well, because.. afterall my grandmother still sees him as part of her grandchildren? I miss his voice, I really do.. but i didn't talk much with him execpt my grandma illness and he didn't talk throughout the phone call ( it reminds me of 2007) the call only lasted for few minutes.. I told him I have to go and I didn't call him back again. Why? because I don't want to burden him? Furthermore, I don't think he is interested knowing. Well.. it's ironic. Why would he bother about my family when I'm no one to him? But, then again, my grandmother treated him really good and getting off this relationship is between me and him, and it has nothing to do with my grandmother, no? Am I wrong to think that way? It's funny.. but it's alright, everything has it first time.

I sms-ed Mr.17 about the pain in my leg is getting worst, he never reply, I called and he didn't pick up? Is that really my fault to said that the other day?

P.s. Can't we remain friend?

Could you just get out of my mind? For a day, or perhaps few hours.. atleast? I can't fucking concerntrate, it's all about you.. The thought of you intesified when ever i saw the christmas decorations around, especially the one in Pavilion..

My doomed date is near, Chemistry is on next friday following with Sociology and Moral studies on the 25th and 26th. I'm so screwed! I know nothing but you have changed your hairstyle, your smile is still as charming and I still have feelings for you.. What kind of feelings? Do you call that love? How do you justify love? OMFG, what have i learned in this semester? Heartbreak survival101? Forget it!

P.S. What did u feed me or what have you done to me? Voodoo?!

Was staring blankly at the Dell inspiron advertisement under my blog post and the words "IT'S TIME TO TREAT YOURSELF" drew me into my imagination world and come to think of it, I haven't been treating myself with goods for a long time..


No 1 : Upgrade my INSPIRON 630m to INSPIRON 13
For those who have known me for a long time, you should realised that I'm a big fan for dell's laptop.. I've been using it since.. hmm.. 3 or 4 years ago? and no doubt, my labtop needs to upgrade.. to be exact, my dell inspiron needs to update.. heh.. I've been constantly checking the release of Inspiron 13 since early of this year, and when it finally out.. Boom boom chika wa wa.. I manage to find a way to get it for free, good stuff, yeah? =D


No. 2 : Get down to Paris for fashion shows and idulge myself in the city of love
Talk about fashion, Paris is one of the well known city for glamerous, fashionable and chic people, and as a beginner in the modelling field, I ought to update myself with more fashion knowledge and catwalks.. woo~ To be on the top, bachelor dandies, tres chic, meeting with glam people, which girl doesn't like that? Aside from that, I would expect some romance drama to happen on me in Paris.. How? Like sitting outside the cafe with a glamorous red hot INSPIRON 13 in front of me, chatting online (bitching with my girls), having eye contact with the local hot guys =p Woo..


No.3 Shopping spree in Japan with my girls
Again, which girl doesn't like shopping?! Always wanted to visit Japan again, I haven't shop enough in the previous trip.. my luggage was overweight by 10 or more kgs =p, and my hand luggage was killing me too.. will never ever forget that incident of me checking in with a 30+kgs luggage and labtop and handbag and endless shopping bags on my arms.. XD Seriously, I still remember the girl in the counter asking me " Miss, these are all yours? Alone?" in a polite yet suprise way. Well.. My handbag and laptop itself(without shopping bags) is already approx. 7-8kg @@ So, if i ever have a chance to visit Japan again, I will consider bringing my red hot inspiron 13 (which is only 1.8kg) instead of my inspiron 630m .. heh


No.4 Party and club in New York City.
New York, City of never-ending nightlife (excitements)..
Though i'm not much a party animal, but i still wish to visit the hottest club in new york city.. =p May be i will consider going to a male stripper club for an eye opener.. heh.. Imagine guys dancing ahead of me, goddess bodies, angel feature, charming smile.. *faint* I swear I'm not going to do anything.. ok.. sharing is caring, if i'm to bring my labtop with me I'll defintely show you my hottest babe.. rawr.. (note: new inspiron 13 have a built in web cam, it's so much convenient than the one i'm using now.. *Bye longitech*)


No.5 Spa and cocktails along the seaview villa during sunset
Last but not least, I will rent a villa all by myself, and indulge myself in my own sweet world - quiet and peaceful, just me and myself..I will start with reading and ice-cream in the noon, swim in the sea during the afternoon, rest and listen to music in the evening and during the sunset i will get down to the spa and indulge myself in a fresh aroma, relish my favourite cocktail and to have a moment of clarity by myself.. At the end of the day, i might want to log in to my personal journal and write down my personal reflective and to make a promise of treating myself better than before. Live in a way that i want to, not a way that what people want me to.

Before I forget, here are some goodies for everyone, if any of you guys have intention in buying a dell inspiron 13(S510701MY), kindly mark the coupon code (7ZQVQF2RLZRKW3), with the following code, you may get a RM100 Instant Cash Redemption!!.
* This promotion is only available online or by calling us at 1800-88-0301. This coupon code expires on 10th Nov 2009.

P.S. Here are my top 5 treat list, and where's yours?

Why Dell Inspiron 13?

Outer Beauty
Its smooth round edges and crisp clean lines are simply designed to inspire. With the Alpine White, Obsidian Black and Cherry Red designs, now you can really show off your true colours.

Always Connected
Enhanced wireless supports up to 802.11n connections. Plus the Dell™ Webcam Central lets you video chat with friends and family with amazing ease.

Wide Vivid Display
13.3 inches, to be exact. Plus the 16:9 widescreen format means you never have to squint or lean up close to use the Inspiron 13.

Hi-definition Experience
Just add the optional ATI Radeon™ HD 4330 graphics card, and hook up to a LCD TV using the one-cord HDMI connection to enjoy true high-definition cinematic experience.

Portable PowerDelivering 50% more performance, Intel® Centrino® 2 processor technology lets you multitask at a whole different level.

Someone showed me his cock on webcam >.< !!!!!!

wilson says:
yo
Mandy says:
how r u
wilson says:
Im fine
Mandy says:
im fine, what bout you, doing what?
wilson says:
playing wif my chicken
Mandy says:
Huh @@
Lol
wilson says:
seriously
very nice one
Mandy says:
...
how does it looks like?
wilson:
i show u on webcam


Mandy says:
your chicken leh?
wilson says:
show u my bird bird
Mandy says:
lol *.*
wilson says:
want to see ka?
u hamsap leh
Mandy says:
i did not
wilson says:
yes u did
y u so hamsap one
Mandy says:
im innocent
wilson says:
i dun believe
Mandy says:
too bad lu
wilson says:
must tell coco, u want to see my bird bird
Mandy says:
i wanna see your chicken la
wilson says:
so hamsap
wanna see my chicken
Mandy says:
hahahhahahah
ahahahhahaha


p.s. I really thought he has a real chicken with him XD and he still has no idea of me posting this shh..

wilson says:
ur face very kan
an evil presence i felt

Mr.17 pissed me off.. so badly, i'm angry.. fucking angry.. for what reason? I don't really know, but definitely not because he was busy with his phone calls and work.. ok well.. may be partly.. who likes to be ignore in a date? Ok.. back to why am I so pissed. Many factors.. I don't love him, really.. but I think i just stuck with him, i'm getting used to his presence.. no matter what he did, I care and each time I have an urge to demand more from him, not money, not love, not time, but his words and concern.

I'm so scrwed, i feel like crying now.. I'm so frustrated.. Zhen, is this how you feel when I ignore you? I hope it's not the same, because I don't even know what I want.. I'm not going to see him or answer his calls for the next few days, perhaps week or weeks.. but then again, I'm afraid I can't.. Why is it it? That's what I want to know, and i'm frust because I don't wanna be what most of you guys think it is.

p.s. What holding me back?

For your information, the PINK event is the culmination of the month-long "Stand Up For Pink Celebration", a breast cancer awareness campaign that is also a celebration of life for survivors of the disease. The event is not just an awareness event for breast health but also a celebration of life for those who survived breast cancer.. I will post more details regarding the pink promise soon.

p.s. Modelle's 2nd issue is out! Do vote for me ^^, kindly key in MODV CMY send to 36660..