Mr.17 pissed me off.. so badly, i'm angry.. fucking angry.. for what reason? I don't really know, but definitely not because he was busy with his phone calls and work.. ok well.. may be partly.. who likes to be ignore in a date? Ok.. back to why am I so pissed. Many factors.. I don't love him, really.. but I think i just stuck with him, i'm getting used to his presence.. no matter what he did, I care and each time I have an urge to demand more from him, not money, not love, not time, but his words and concern.

I'm so scrwed, i feel like crying now.. I'm so frustrated.. Zhen, is this how you feel when I ignore you? I hope it's not the same, because I don't even know what I want.. I'm not going to see him or answer his calls for the next few days, perhaps week or weeks.. but then again, I'm afraid I can't.. Why is it it? That's what I want to know, and i'm frust because I don't wanna be what most of you guys think it is.

p.s. What holding me back?