You deleted your account? Why? What's gonna happen to the passionate diary? There are so many thoughts running in my mind.. But.. instead of cracking my head and finding answers that i will never get, i asked myself a few questions, and i begin to have some ideas on what i should do next.. hopefully..

Should I continue on writing in that diary? That diary have been with me (us) since the day we're together, but you are no longer here.. (well.. in fact you left a long time ago, but your account was still remaining at that point.. but now, not anymore.) So.. what is it.. right now? The idea of knowing you will no longer access the diary, makes me sad, extremely sad, because somehow i wished, hoped you will go through them one more time. But now.. no more imagination, no more self-deception or living in the past.. you have decided for me, decision is finalized.. Memories, secrets, words we had.. you have buried them.. or in another word, you abandoned them, nothing worth reminisce? Is that so?

Seriously, I never realized your name was gone in the 'Team members', i thought of re-adding/re-inviting you.. but then again.. I hesitated.. and I concluded i shall not challenge your will power, and so let it be.. if that's our destiny, like how you used to tell me in the past, " babe, just let things be.."

I will still continue writing in the passionate diary, with more feelings.. at least I can 100% confess and being truthful to myself.. not needing to fake or to worry anyone found out my dirty little secrets. It's not a bad idea after all,yea?

p.s. Now.. I'm the only one that remains.. 18 years I've known myself, but I ought to know myself more to be able to love myself more.. the passionate diary will still be the passionate diary..

Labels: S.H.M.I.L.Y