I find it hard to concentrate on my studies.. that's why i decided to write down what's going on my mind and hopefully i can really transfer what's on my mind to writing so i can have a peace of mind.

I feel guilty for ruining his life.. I always tell him study is our first priority and i really mean it. But.. i can't believe i screw his academic and a chance for him to further study.

I feel sorry, sorry for letting him to put me in first place and asking him to stay with him. Well.. i really sorry.. I really never notice I am constantly putting weights on his shoulder.. until he broke down in front of me.

I feel bad, because the love he gave me was unconditional and it is very strong.. and I feel very bad that not giving him the same. The truth is I can't. I can't even love myself how am i suppose to shed some love for him?

I am angry at myself, because I can't do anything besides seeing my love one to suffer and to go through all the obstacle alone.

I hate myself, hate myself for taking his love for granted.

My mental is gonna collapse soon.. Are we equal now? (Academic x Health)

He said, "I don't know why am I stupid enough to get everything from you.","It's always you you you and you".. when I heard that my heart aches.. till then I only realize he really love me and I was very important to him. He don't know why and how can he bear with me for such a long time.. Well.. I don't know how to tell him.. that is what we called LOVE, we're blinded by it.

I was really blind, until yesterday.. i finally had a peace of my mind for myself.. and slowly heard what my inner me has to tell me.. "What if.. what he told you was just a lie to cover his guilt? "