© 2007-2009MandylogyAll Rights Reserved.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
I have these feelings, deep inside
feelings that I have to hide
I don't know if he feels that way too
And I don't know what to do
When we're together, I feel uptight
When he's around I feel so right
I dream about what we can do
And all the things we can pursue
I yearn just to feel his touch
And when he leaves, I miss him so much
I want to feel his lips against mine
And feel our bodies intertwine
So for now I'll love him from afar
One day I'll express how special you are
So until then I will retain this rush
And until then I'll contain my crush.
I have fallen In love with him. I have this huge crush on him and I don't know how to tell him. Maybe one day I will get enough guts to give this poem to him. Maybe one day I will find out if he feels the same way.

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.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:19:00 PM - 0 comments




Tuesday, January 30, 2007


"A OPEN HEART IS EASILY WOUNDED AND HARD TO REPAIR."





Hmm... what shall i say...? After the date i called Wei Zhen... and.. kind of depress after talking with him..



Me: thanks a lot for today...

Wz:No problem... beside why you dun wan to accept him as your bf?

Me:Dunno...

Wz:... good la... so many ppl aftering you...

Me: you also wurt..?kaka

Wz: huh? who...?

Me: xxx,xxx, and xxx is interested in you...

Wz: hmm... so? I dun feel attracted to her...

Me: O.... ha ha... what if i say I attracted to you...?

Wz: *Whispering* You're not my standard...

Me: I beg your pardon?

Wz:Na~ nothing...



How sad... I'm very confuse... what he meant by... i'm not his standard? Means... i've no chance? Shall i give up? or continue falling althought i know i'll get hurt...? What is it in his mind? Why can't he be so gentle and understand on that day... but treated me so cool in the reality?

What can i do?
.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:29:00 PM - 0 comments




Sunday, January 28, 2007
My Favorite pics...





O my O my... i think I've a crush on wei zhen... Argh... When I was laying on my bed last night, my mind is like a video player... keep playing Wei Zhen's face..My god... since when.. it happen?



~ Additional for the story~

While Wei Zhen holding my hand in the cinema, my heart beat almost stop, how I wish he know CPR, because he is taking my breath away... His hand are so warm.. and his fingers are touching mine gently... ... O my! But there's interruption, while I was "enjoying" holding Wei Zhen's hand, my friend called me, sweat...! But after the call, we hold our hands together again....

"Wei Zhen, my hand were made in such a way that only yours will fit perfectly into them..."

My god I wonder, how's the attraction works? I told Derek about it, and his conclusion is... Wei Zhen is a nice guy... hardly find a guy like him this day... hmm... izzit?

O my! O my! What am i suppose to do now...?
.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 7:05:00 PM - 2 comments




Saturday, January 27, 2007
Wei Zhen and me..
Yong Jian and me..


Wei Zhen, Louis and Yong Jian..



Yong Jian, Me, and Wei Zhen..


I don't consider my plan today are success, because the Louis are still calling me non-stop...


Well... one week ago, Yong Jian and Wei Zhen decided to help me tell Louis get the fuck off! So.... wei zhen will pretend to be my boy friend and yong jian will be the one who talk to louis...

-ON THE ACTUAL DAY-




Once i reached KLCC, Wei Zhen come to pick me up in the ISETAN entrance and we meet up Louis in front of DOME. Guess what... Louis bought me a korean drama... "goong".... After meeting Louis, we went to find Yong Jian in the COFFEE BEAN, actually Yong jian and wei zhen was having a drink while waiting for me...

Before we went for our lunch, we went to collect our movie ticket... You know what louis did? he trying to plan our sit... he gave me number 12, he got 13, Yong Jian having 14 and he gave Wei Zhen 15. Swt... but fortunately... Yong jian said... we can sit wherever we think is comfortable..

Well... I decided to have our lunch in Mdm. Kwan... agian, while we are taking out seats in the restaurant, Louis insist on sitting beside me, but Wei Zhen don't allowed, so at last.. i'm sitting beside Yong Jian, Louis and Wei Zhen are sitting opposite us...

After our lunch, I suggested to have a walk in the KLCC park... Wow.., there's a lot of couple.. While i was talking with Yong Jian in the park.. Wei Zhen and Louis is having a talk as well... i wonder... Haiz... we took a lot of photos... beside Louis are keep asking Wei Zhen to take photo with me... sweat... Wei Zhen are so sweet... he knows i like strawberry, and he ordered me a cup of blended... ( STRAWBERRY+RESBERRY+VANILLA)... o my... the drinks are so nice...

2.45 pm liao... yay... time for DEATH NOTE... Hmm.... before we went in to the cinema... Wei Zhen give me his arm and ask me to hold it..OoOo...

Well... about the sitting again.. LOL... but this time Wei Zhen asked louis to get in first... Finally... me and Wei Zhen are sitting between Louis and the Yong Jian..


O my god... the temperature in the cinema are damn low, my hand are freezing... I told Wei Zhen about it... suddenly...>.<

After the movie.. Louis said he have to go... but another 10minutes, he called me and ask me whether i want to join him personally... What the...

Ya... i think that's all for the story... Haiz... so do you think the plan are success?...




.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:39:00 PM - 2 comments




Friday, January 26, 2007
rams?
CAPTURED THIS WHEN WE ARE PRACTICING


Well... having sport meeting in school today... hmm... I signed up for the shot puff, 4 x 100 and the 200m (individual)... ya.. and I'm joining the cheer leading in green house... My mood is kinda good in beginning.. Ya... and what happen in the end? When i was passing by Emily.. I heard that idiotic bitch saying "Huh? she join cheer leading? Good for her la, she's damn fat!"




What the?! Ya ya ya, I'm damn fat... so what? I love to be who i am... I love my body shape, my butt and my breast... I really wonder what's wrong with my body figure? You jealous, because you are "plasma TV" izzit? or you are much more shorter than me.. What's wrong with you?! Tsk tsk tsk... please la... you are making all the female being disgrace... Can you stop being that busy body?! very irritating you know?!



hu...*breath in, breath out*.. chill... haiz... Besides.. that biatch... nothing much happen.. just an ordinary school life...




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.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 2:46:00 PM - 0 comments




Thursday, January 25, 2007





Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived;
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others......, including Love. One day
it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the
bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was
the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last
possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was
time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness
was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on
your boat?" Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold
on my boat and there would be no room for you." Then Love decided to ask Vanity
for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me
please." I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my
beautiful boat." Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please
let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be
alone now." Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me
with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to
him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you
with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to
ask the elder his name. When they arri ved on land the elder went on his way.
Love realized how much she owed the elder. Love then found Knowledge and asked,
"Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. "But why did
Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. Knowledge smiled and with
deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of
understanding how great Love is."

.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 12:01:00 AM - 0 comments




Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Haiz.. i was lack of sleep this day... eyes exactly look like
the panda in China.. all thanks to Louis.. i really.. dunno what the hell he
wants from me... keep calling me every night and assume that I'm always 24 hours
on call. O my god... Louis, Louis I know you need a girl friend.. but can't you
just go find Joanne or someone there's can be with you all the time?

Everyone are ignoring you, you know? Grams told me you are
always mentioning me in front of him, izzit true? O my god... what the hell u
want... the reason that i don't wanna be so straight forward to u,
because i worry that you feel guilty and bad..

Besides I was wondering are you a human being... can't you
sense it?Haiz... that's why if you are my lover... i really... i really..
*speechless*

I am glad to having a friend like you, but sometimes...
there's something that you can't get it by using money... especially love,it is
priceless... Although you are spending so much money on me, don't expect i will
say YES to you... I don't like all that, you know? You are insulting me... what
you think i am? I'm not that kind of woman that you paid me and i will say
yes for everything... i have my own pride,k? PLEASE RESPECT ME...

Anyway.. i know it is useless to telling you.. and i won't
tolerate you any longer... i will do some action this time... For this
Saturday... ya.. I'm looking forward...
.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 10:50:00 PM - 0 comments




Sunday, January 21, 2007
The diary he wrote.. The cursave hand writting is written by me..














Just now, i was clearing my drawer, and again, it attracts me again, the exchange diary that written by joo sin and me...
Unintentionally, I glance over the diary... ya.. again.. I thought, I'll be strong this time and learned how to control my emotion. But i guess I'm wrong, my tears washed my face all over again...
Every time, i saw the diary, I really want to burn it... but... I can't... I can't... it is to cruel for me by doing that.
The diary is filled our memories, our happiness, sadness , desire and also my heart... How can I just dump it into the fire? I can't do it! Cause I'm killing myself, i am burning my own heart!
I'm trying very hard not to cry over you, because every tear is just one more reminder that I don't know how to let you go!

TAN JOO SIN!!!!!!! Where're you been?! I thought you said you'll leave me never? I thought you said you'll never let me cry?! I thought you said MANDY CHAN MUN YEE is your only girl?! I thought you promised, no matter what you'll believe me and stand by my side?!!! Where are you now?!!! I need you now!...
I miss you, i miss the days, you
always scold me stupid , because i always crying for fear to lost you!!! That's why i always wanted you to hug me tight instead laying tender kiss on my lips! I always feeling insecure to being with you, because you are too sweet, i scare having you is just a dream, I wanted you to hug me tight because your heart beat can eliminate my insecure and loneliness!I can even sleep while you hugging me, because your heart beat is my favorite lullaby!
Every time those reminiscences of you, are replaying over and over in my mind!... and your smiling faces, is always appearing in my dream... But it's all nightmare for me, because... i knew... you already leave me... i want to see your smiling face in reality not dream!

NO!!!! How dare you! Why is it you can put the the biggest smile on my face , but also bring the most tears in my eyes?
For some pages in the diary had your tears on it, now only I realize, your tears are full of pressure, tired, sad, disappointed and hopeless. O god, why can't I realize it on that very day? I'm so sorry... sorry for not being your side when you're depress... i promised to be by your side all the time, but i can't make it... sorry.. always saying that you're a jerk, a failure... a bad guy that always making me cry... But for me, you're my motivation, you are my sunshine in my and day moonlight in my night, TAN JOO SIN,

Do you know.. you're my everything..!
You bought me happiness, and you also taught me what is love...
Darling.. if i could be any parts of your body, I'd be your tears.

To be conceiving in your heart, born in your eyes, live in your cheeks, and die on your lips!
... I think I better stop, that's all for today... I'm tired...
.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:51:00 PM - 0 comments





Well another 6 hours is going to 2007..This year there's a lot of things happen to me.. and i realise many things... The one who are pleasure the most, finally he has leaved me... ya he is...
Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing... Especially i have to watch those couple holding eachother hand tight, and kissing eachother so tender...

And when the first time you says i love you...
all the promises we made, all the lay fighting...
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhoodI dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
Every morning we spend together...
all the kiss you use to greet me in the morning, whispering beside while i'm sleeping.. telling
me how much you love me..
Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and meIt seems, it seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too
The littlest things that take me there
The first time i cry infront of you, you hugging me tight with your arm, i can still remember how warm is
your chest and how fast your heart beated...

comforting me that i'm not alone, saying you will leave me never and saying how ugly and stupid when i cried..

Kissing infront all of my friend

1st of july, 2005

5sc2 classroom

behind the canteen

bam villa swimming pool

badminton hall

school hall, piano

Long slow kiss

Silence tears

long comfortable hug

love bites

december 17th 2005

dozen of white roses

sovenirs from genting

Spaghetti

love letter

swatch

Christmas night

Prom night

6th of february,2006

Sad Valentine

Jay chou cd's

rose petal

fragrance oil

our exchange diary

yellow bikini

tickle eachother

our arguement

scar on your arms

butterfly earing

clover necklace

Claudine
May 9th 2006
Ponteng out to date
Stars in your room
20 october 2005


SHMILY
The breakfast i prepare for you every morning
those kiss and hug before you send me to school
and so much more...
I thougth the wound in my heart has fully recover, but i'm wrong..
because it's bleeding for everytime i ansewred my friend i'm ok...
Sorry for making our story tales this short...
Seriously.. you are the first guy i love... the first guy who can makes me smile and cry in the same time, the first guy who taught me what is love, the first guy that hurt me so deeply... SHMILY... I really mean it..

How do you repair a heart that's broken?
How do you heal the wounds?
How do you ever trust another?
How do you love so soon?
You left me asking these questions,You left me alone to wonder.
How could I know you'd leave me,
And break the spell I'm under?
We had a love like fairy tales-Prince Charming on one knee.
I thought I was your Cinderella,
But I was too blind to see.
The love you had came from another,
Someone I'm afraid to know.
So now I hide within myself,
So my pain-filled eyes won't show.
You've made it hard to trust another,
Making sure no paths are crossed.
Since you never knew what you had,
You'll never know now what you've lost!
My heart was all for giving,But all you did was take.
I know one day I'll love again,
And learn from my mistakes.




I posted this on last year, 2006.12.31... im just reposting it...


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.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:49:00 PM - 0 comments




Saturday, January 13, 2007
The feelings I feel inside
I can't explain
It's like I still love you
but it don't feel the same.
The memories we had
stays on my mind
How can I forget I think about them all the time.
I wish we could go back to how we was before
But it feels like the love we had before
just isn't there anymore.
So many thoughts run through my head
like what kind of future we have ahead
I hope all our problems go away
so we can live happier together forever, everyday
And if by chance our love do end
I hope to God that we can still be friends.

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.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:04:00 PM - 0 comments




Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I sit alone in the darkness.
Waiting.Waiting for him to come back to me.
Can he hear my cries?
Can he feel my tears?
Can he sense my breaking heart?
God only knows such a fact.
How can this be that he can't see me?
Is it because I'm sitting alone in the darkness?
I just walk past everyone as if I were invisible.
Can he see me now?
Can he see the pain he's caused me?
Or does he just look past it?
I think I should move on,
but something tells me to wait.
It's my heart.
I'll give him one last chance.
He needs to prove his love to me.
As I return to sit alone in the darkness.
Waiting.

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.~♥~.
posted by - Mandy - at 11:22:00 PM - 0 comments





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