The hardest part about living abroad, or studying abroad; distant away from your family, is blending in and seeking a sense of belonging in the new environment. Being here for the first few weeks, it was hard, considering I have travelled most places alone, settling down is a totally different idea. It was so hard to call the place I’m currently living, “home”. I find it irony that at the end of day, when I tell my friends “I’m going home” I feel a tiny bit of loneliness. “Home” here is not exactly home.
Oh well, I had to make the best out of it. Back in Malaysia I do not display any pictures of myself or my family in my room. But, staying alone, far from home, I finally realized the need of actual photographs, rather than what I have over my laptop or phone. Also, never thought that I’m so patriotic, a KLCC miniature, seriously? LOL. Then again, it is the sense of familiarity in a world that lack of sense of belongingness.
Little do I know, I was actually homesick. I thought I was strong enough, but turns out that I was under a lot of stress, my hormones was a mess, and had terribly PMS + Mood swings. Also, I was so close in buying a ticket to fly back home. Regardless, being away change me for quite a bit, absence do make hearts grow fonder, I’m talking more to my family as compared when I was in Malaysia. The realization of true friends - despite being physically so far away, we never run out of topics. And a chance to get to know myself better in a new environment.
PS: Stay strong Mandy!